Forgotten
by Creepy on the Internet
Summary: Set in the short time skip in Volume 8. Kotarou and Tatsuki are trying to get past everything that has happened to them, but complications due to their unusual relationship arise. Title will make sense later... My summary sucks. Read and review anyway!
1. From Angst to Love?

**Author's Note:** I got this idea out of nowhere and had to write it… Contains SPOILERS for the end of the manga! You have been warned. Read and REVIEW! If I don't get reviews, I just might cry. T_T Not that I'm begging or anything… Oh, and this is Tatsuki POV, in case you can't tell. If you can't, I must be the worst writer ever. XD

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Hands Off, would I really be writing a fanfic? Think about it… I own nothing! D=

**Forgotten**

Kotarou's in pain. So am I, of course, but what else is new? My head is killing me, which is a given considering it nearly literally _did_ kill me. I still haven't gotten over Grandpa's death, even if it was due to that bastard Koutari's scheming I still blame myself; I should have _seen_ that he cut the brake lines, dammit! I never should have put him on my bike, and I hate myself for it. But none of that matters. What _does_ matter is Kotarou's pain, because it's all my fault.

He knows about my powers, and he did exactly what I knew he would. He has accepted all of my hate, the rage I spent years bottling up against him but which I was never willing to let show because I couldn't bear to hurt him. He may have given up his powers to save me, but I know that he still feels like some kind of freak; everyone gifted (more like cursed) with ESP seems familiar with that sentiment. I don't know how to help him at this point. I've already told him countless times that I don't hate him, but he won't believe me.

He's such a fool. Anyone with eyes can see that I care for Kotarou. To most, it's just familial affection, but a few people have seen my love for what it is. Among them are Mio (Kota-stealing b***h – and _no_ I'm _not_ jealous, thank you very much) and Yuuto (aura-reading, womanizing bastard). I think even Karen (nosy, amateur photographer) has caught on, but somehow Kotarou remains in the dark, perhaps due to his naivety, perhaps because he just doesn't _want_ to see the truth. The last thing Kotarou needs right now is to become cognizant of romantic feelings from his cousin. Maybe it's better that he think I loathe him, at least that is an acceptable emotion from me in his eyes. That's what stings more than anything – that he would rather I detest him than love him in the way I do. I have to bear with this pain, to protect him and to help him sort through his own feelings about everything that has happened lately.

I had _planned_ for Kotarou to remain in the dark about my feelings for him, anyway. That all blew up in my face yesterday. This is why I try to stay away from him! I cannot properly control my impulses around him, and now he must be more confused than ever! What have I done…?

Two days. Kotarou was unconscious for _two days_ after he saved me by transferring an enormous amount of psychic power into my body. In that short span of time, Udou and Kiba taught me an incredible amount of control over my newly strengthened powers. I should have been thrilled that I could almost entirely block negative pasts from my mind – though places like jails and hospitals would always be somewhat painful and difficult to deal with, according to Kiba – and that I could now hide my aura from Yuuto, whose uncanny ability to see my every emotion was enormously irritating, but I spent the entire time worrying over Kotarou's condition. Had the techniques the developed psychics taught me not been so simple (why Udou hadn't just trained me the first time we met I cannot fathom), I would have been far too preoccupied to master them. As it turns out, I forced myself to focus on the knowledge in order to maintain my sanity as the anxiety increased.

Yesterday morning, as I sat at Kotarou's bedside desperately wishing for him to arise, I got the strangest thought: he looked just like Sleeping Beauty. I knew he would resent the comparison were he awake to hear it, but it was just so evident – his beauty, the peaceful slumber, his effeminacy – all he needed now was a kiss. Acting on impulse and the surety that he would not wake up anytime soon, I leaned in, allowing my eyes to flutter shut as I shamelessly bent to kiss the boy I had spent years hating… and loving a thousand times more.

"Tak-kun?" He murmured, reverting to the childhood nickname in his grogginess. At the sound of his voice, my eyes snapped open and I froze, petrified, my lips mere centimeters from his own. "What are you doing?"

Crap. Not only did I miss my chance to kiss him, I now had to think of some excuse for being so close to him; considering I generally overreacted when he merely brushed up against me, it had to be damn good. I thought frantically, finally settling for "I heard your breathing pattern change. I was listening closer because I figured if it had you would be waking up at any moment. Looks like I was right." What a farce. Had I actually known he was about to awaken, I would not have been anywhere near him.

He seemed to think for a while, and then shrugged. "Whatever. Where am I anyway?"

I averted my eyes. "What's the last thing you remember from before you…fell asleep?" I asked softly.

He sighed, and his eyes filled with insurmountable grief. "I remember all of it. Koutari. Grandpa. Your powers…That they're my fault, and that they ruined your life. That's why you hate me. The last thing I recall is you, on the floor, surrounded by your own blood. That was my fault, too. Everything was my fault. I know I tried to save you, but it's all a blank from there. It looks like I succeeded though. I'm glad." By the time he finished speaking, tears were streaming down his face, and the sadness in his eyes had turned into hate. Hate directed at himself: my biggest fear realized.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to block out the image of my beloved cousin in so much pain. How was I supposed to fix this?

He took my silence, my unwillingness to meet his gaze, as an affirmation of his previous statement. "So you do hate me. Can't say I blame you. I know I hate myself for it," he whispered the last sentence so quietly I wasn't sure if he had actually been directing the commentary at me or simply thinking aloud. Either way, I knew I had to speak up.

I reached out, gently grasping his chin and turning him to face me. "I don't hate you, Kotarou; don't you _dare_ hate yourself."

His eyes widened in surprise, and he wrenched himself away from my grip. "Don't touch me! That's what caused this whole thing! I know you hate me; how could you not? You're just trying to save me, like you always do. You and your freaking hero complex."

Me? A hero complex? I scoffed at the idea. "Haven't you noticed I only help people because you want me to, because they're close to you and it would hurt you if they were harmed? It's all for you, Kota. Haven't you seen the fury on my face when someone hurts you? How desperately I search for you every time you're kidnapped? I don't have a hero complex, but you could say I have a _cousin_ complex. I understand why you think I hate you; I used to think I hated you, too. The thing is… I don't think I _can_ hate you. Believe me, I've tried. But no matter what, my love always overcomes the hate, and that's the truth. More than anything, I love you." I finished my rant in a rush, and, ignoring the likely repercussions, I leaned towards him again, insanely searching for the kiss I had been deprived of only moments before, but I regained my senses quickly. Having stopped just short of his lips for the second time that day, I examined his face for a reaction to my out of place words and actions. After all, this was probably the longest he had heard me speak sincerely in years.

Kotarou's expression became one of awe, stunned disbelief written across his visage. Somehow, he seemed to realize in that moment that I wasn't talking about simply caring for him. No, I meant something much deeper. I knew he would be disgusted, so I turned away, shamefaced, and moved to escape before I lost what was left of my crumbling composure.

"Tatsuki?" Unthinkingly, I stopped when I felt his fingertips casually brush the back of my hand. I glanced at him, confusion and – dare I believe it? – _love_ now the dominant emotions on his face. I struggled to keep my vain hope suppressed and my own expression blasé but lost that battle as he tugged on my hand, pulling me down to his level, and pressed his lips to mine.

* * *

So? How do you feel about the first chapter of my attempt at a "Hands Off!" fic? Did I fail? Is it okay? REVIEW! I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can. It took me a while to write this, because I wasn't sure where I was going with it…but I know now! Yay! Review this chapter or I'll never bother to write, let alone post, the next one. Mwa ha ha ha. Tatsuki got a kiss; he should be happy now, right? Nope. You'll see... =D


	2. Kiss of Death

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the order of the following words.

Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been busy with all those end-of-senior-year type things… Then I just got lazy. Thank you to anyone who actually waited for this chapter and is reading it now.

Anyway, Chapter Two: Kiss of Death! Remember that this is Tatsuki POV. Enjoy! Read and review!

**Kiss of Death**

I was momentarily flabbergasted, stunned at the very _idea_ of Kotarou's lips on mine, let alone the actuality of it. However, my body reacted while my mind continued its struggle to keep up with this sudden turn of events. I leaned into the kiss, making it deeper and much less innocent than Kota had intended it to be. In what felt like mere nanoseconds later, he was squirming uncomfortably and gently trying to push me away from him. I wrenched myself back from his face, untangling my hands from his hair – how and when they had become entwined there I cannot recall. I knew logically that kissing him had been a mistake; even though he had started it, such a sudden move toward passion on my part could have frightened him off like a terrified bunny, and I should have known better. Finally allowing myself a quick glance at his face – naturally I had been glaring at the floor while deep in thought – I was unsurprised by what I saw.

He was ruffled, likely from my exploring hands in his hair as well as on his back and waist. More than that, he was utterly perplexed. Perhaps he had expected me to reject the kiss? Not a chance. I knew very well that may be the only chance I would have to claim his lips; that might have been the reason I went farther than I intended to with it, to milk my one kiss for all it was worth. Or maybe I was just a teenage boy, raging hormones and whatnot; we are known for a stunning lack of self-control in regards to relationships. Anyway, he looked so small just then, so completely lost and frail, that all I wanted to do was comfort him, tell him everything would be fine.

But how could I do that? Our Grandpa was dead. I was a screwed-up bastard. Our childhood kinship was long gone in his eyes. And the poor kid thought it was all his fault. So I watched him, waiting for him to react in some way not only to what had just transpired but to everything that had happened. I figured I would know what to do when it all hit him.

I plainly saw it when it did; his face crumpled like the sudden collapse of a glacier. His eyes, previously frozen and glassy while he processed everything, went wide and subsequently closed tightly, tears forming in the corners. His fists clenched and shook at his sides, and I had no idea how to help. All I could do was pull him to me, encircling his small body in a hug as he was wracked with silent sobs. I petted his hair in what I hoped was a soothing gesture until he quieted.

Slowly, he pulled away and simply looked at me, his face red and puffy from crying but otherwise fairly composed, all things considered. "What do we do now?" he whispered. I looked away, surprisingly overcome by the question's implications.

Fighting the lump in my throat, I met his eyes and replied, "It's up to you. I'm fine with whatever you want to do about all of this. If it's too much for you, we can even… pretend it never happened. I know you have a girlfriend, that you love her, that we're cousins, that the last thing you want is to be… gay." With every drawback to a potential relationship between the two of us in my speech, I could see Kotarou acknowledge the facts. I struggled to keep the despair out of my voice as I spoke to him, knowing that he would never try to pursue anything with me.

"You're right," he said. My heart dropped, and I blinked back the tears that threatened to form. I steeled myself for what he would surely say next. That we would ignore the kiss and my feelings for his comfort; I was the one who said it would be okay, so I had no right to object. Unfortunately, logic had never worked well when it came to Kotarou. "…But I love you, Tak-kun. I might even love you in _that_ way, because I just felt something I've never experienced with Mio." He blushed deeply at this confession, and my jaw dropped in shock. "I don't even mind the rest – us being cousins and possibly gay – if it means I get to be with you. I want nothing more than for you to be happy; I already ruined your life, so this is the least I can do." He smiled slightly, but I was perturbed by the last sentence he had uttered.

My elation flew out the window at that. Guilt. He was still feeling guilty about my powers and the trials I had endured because of them. He didn't want me, he _pitied_ me. And I hate nothing more than pity. To say he loved me and then say he would tolerate being with me to make me happy after ruining my life… it was like a punch to the gut. If you multiplied the pain of a punch times ten million and four, that is. As per usual, I quickly transformed my sadness into a death glare aimed in his direction, and he backed away at the intensity of it. "I would never want you to force yourself to be with me; just stay away from me. Pretend this whole thing never happened if sympathy is the only reason you're being so damned accepting!"

My words were a slap to the face. He honestly thought he had made a confession I would be thrilled with, apparently. "How can you say that! All I meant was that it would be great if I could do something that helps you for once. I want us to be close, like we used to be. I want to stop being a burden and start being your friend… maybe even your lover. If I said something so wrong, I'm sorry. Please don't hate me. I don't want that. Anything but that." Again. I made him cry again. Why am I such an ass? Damn it!

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm an asshole. We both know it; you tell me all the time." He smiled slightly at that, and it lit me up. "I'm sorry. I just want this to be what you want, not something you're doing for me. Don't play the role of the martyr. That's my job. I love you with all my heart."

This time I initiated the kiss, leaning down and gently, romantically, touching my lips to his. He kissed back, and in that moment I knew that he had meant it when he said he loved me. We were in love, and I was thrilled. I restrained myself this time, holding back to avoid scaring him with the intensity of my desires. This time I had no need to take things so far, because there would be many more kisses to come. I smiled against his lips, so happy it was like walking on air.

"Ahem." We broke apart suddenly, jumping away from each other and spinning to face Udou, who had seemingly materialized out of nowhere. "What's up?" He asked, with his usual all-knowing smirk.

Kotarou was the first to speak. I just glared at the bastard for interrupting my blissful kiss. "Udou-san! H-how long have you been standing there!" His blush was now deeper than ever.

"I've only been standing here for a moment. How long I've been standing in the doorway you brilliant lovebirds left wide open is another story. Nice to see you're awake after so long, Kotarou, and seem to be getting along with Tatsuki _better than ever_ now." I continued to glare at him, and at Kiba, who had entered right behind him but was as silent as ever.

Kotarou stared at the two psychics, knowing Kiba was quite possibly watching our entire exchange, listening to confessions and as well as watching the physical aspects at that very moment - if he hadn't been watching the original incident with Udou. He then moved to flee the room in embarrassment, and I was about to follow when he stopped me midway across the floor.

"Can you give me some time? I just need to think about things. I'm going to take a bath, and we'll talk about everything when I get out. Quit looking so worried! It'll be okay. I love you." He grinned at me, noticed Udou and Kiba were still there, blushed for the millionth time that day, and hurried from the room.

I stared after him, left in an awkward silence with the two developed psychics. I ignored them and headed towards the room I was staying in but was stopped by Udou. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" He asked quietly. He took my blank stare as a response and continued. "I mean, the kid's even frailer than he looks. I know you aren't going to hurt him, but how do you think he'll feel when it hits him that he just cheated on his girlfriend and is gay as well as incestuous? Even if you think he's alright with it, he won't be able to handle it at school; there are already people who make fun of him for being effeminate and think there's something between the two of you. You don't care about others' opinions, but he does. Think from his perspective. This may be more of a problem for him than you think. Fine then, just make sure you keep an eye on him so you know he's okay."

Wow. This guy was like a mind reader. I hadn't said anything the whole time, but he paused between each sentence and responded along my line of thought. All I did was glare at him while he spoke, but he was right about everything. Kotarou had been thinking about the current situation earlier, but long-term there was sure to be complications even I had not foreseen. If only I was a pre-cog instead of a post-cog.

That would have solved a lot of things. This is all my fault.

**Author's Note:** This is where the story returns to Tatsuki being upset about Kotarou finding out about his feelings and blaming himself for Kotarou's pain. I changed some things from what I had planned to write, so the intro part doesn't make as much sense in relation to the rest of the story as it should. I might fix it later. You readers may not have noticed if I didn't just tell you, but oh well. Anyway, in the next chapter, you'll find out why Tatsuki is so upset. What did Kotarou do? Find out in the next, and hopefully last, chapter of Forgotten. This has dragged on longer than I expected it to… Does anyone else think I completely lost Tatsuki's voice in this chapter? He feels very out of character to me. Sorry. Thank you to anyone who bothered to read this author's note. If you didn't read it, you're a loser. But you don't know I think that unless you read it. XD

**Fellow Authors:**Please go to the poll on my profile. I want to know how normal people plan their fics.

**Review:** Just click the button and say something. I'm still waiting for my first flame, could it be from you? Positive comments make me happy; constructive criticism wins you a free prize! An imaginary one, but still…


	3. Forgotten

**Author's Note:**Once again, the procrastination set in, and I took forever to update. My apologies. I completely changed how I planned to end this, and it wound up much less dramatic than I wanted it to be. Without further ado: Chapter Three of Forgotten: Forgotten!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the order of the following words and the plotline they spin.

**Forgotten**

A familiar feeling of foreboding. The flash of an image in my mind. His face before my eyes without his presence in the room. His name pulsing in my mind to the tune of a swirling despair.

"Kotarou!" I shouted his name, tearing blindly through the house until reaching the bathroom door. I paused briefly, my hand above the doorknob, regained enough composure to call, "Open the door or I'm coming in there."

Had I really expected him to open it? Not at all. Waiting only a few seconds, I wrenched the door open, plunged into the room, and saw a sight of pure heartbreak.

Kotarou sat limply in a chair near the tub, a towel draped haphazardly over his lower body, his eyes glazed over but steadily streaming tears, and a razor gripped loosely in the fingers of his right hand. I crossed the room in a frenzy of panic, unsure of what I would find upon further inspection. There was a small trickle of blood leading from his left wrist to the palm of his hand, but nothing else. I flipped his arm and stared at the cut: thin, horizontal, and not deep enough to cause lasting harm. It was what some would call a hesitation mark. No, I knew enough of wounds to be sure he was in no physical danger. What truly frightened me was his silence.

He had remained sitting in the same position in which I found him, with his head hanging and his expression blank, the entire time I checked for injuries. I had suspected something odd from the moment I sensed Kotarou's plight; never before had his emotions so completely engulfed me until I felt they were my own. I continued calling to him, shook him slightly, patted his face, but nothing brought him out of his stupor. I was terrified, powerless, baffled. At a loss of what to do, I pulled him to me in an embrace, feeling his continuing tears drench my shoulder.

"Tatsuki… I'm sorry." For a moment I stared into Kotarou's face, dumbfounded, before realizing the voice had come from behind me. Udou stood in the doorway, his eyes full of sympathy. I narrowed my gaze at him until it became a glare.

"You. What are you doing there? And what's wrong with him? You know, don't you? Do something!"

"I followed you when you rushed off earlier. Figured there was a problem. And it seems you still haven't learned to close doors. That answers your first question. As for what's wrong, I'd say he's in shock. That," he said, motioning toward Kotarou's face and condition in general, "is like a self-induced coma. I warned you he may not be able to handle the newest development in your relationship once he fully thought about it, but even I didn't expect this. There isn't much I can do."

I clenched my jaw in rage. At the usually superhuman Udou claiming helplessness, but more than that at myself for causing this whole thing. Why didn't I just stifle my feelings? I should have known. There can never be a happy ending for someone like me. Now what? If only Kotarou didn't know about any of it: my love for him, his acceptance of my feelings and his reciprocation of them, his role in my powers, his own powers, the whole confrontation with Koutari.

Wait… If he didn't know there would be no problem, right? His mind and body would revert to the way they were before. If Udou used his powers to give Kotarou knowledge of the past – his role in my powers – can he not just as easily take away information? Remove everything causing this overwhelming pain? I had to ask.

"Udou… You once made Kotarou cognizant of my past. Can you wipe his memory?"

"You sure that's what you want? For him to forget everything the two of you could have had?

"I can't have much with the way he is now. Whatever it takes to get him out of his current state. Make him forget it all so he can go back to the way he was. I would rather everything be forgotten than have him like this. Just do it. Please."

I watched as Udou sighed and approached Kotarou. He placed one hand gently on each of Kotarou's temples, applied the slightest amount of pressure, and closed his eyes for the briefest of moments. Then, he simply let go and stepped back. I was amazed at the rapidity with which Kotarou began to recover.

He slowly opened his eyes, blinking up at the two of us, confusion in his stare. "Tatsuki? Udou-sensei? What's going on? Where am I?"

Udou threw me a sidelong glance, and I nodded at him before he began to spin an intricate tale of the trip we had supposedly been embarking on before Kotarou fell at the airport and hit his head, getting amnesia and being sent here to recover. I was somewhat impressed by the ease of Udou's lies, but more overcome with my own conflicting emotions. Of course, I was happy that Kota had woken from his stupor, but the harsh reality that my one chance with him had come and gone – the very prospect of which had sent his mind reeling to the point of breakdown – left me drained and glum. I murmured a good night to Kotarou, Udou, and Kiba as they continued discussing Kota's amnesia in regards to the planning of the trip.

I was briefly aware of Kotarou yelling something about me being an uncaring bastard for leaving as soon as he woke up after his supposed airport injury; in response, I nonchalantly waved a hand in his direction as I continued down the hall to the room in which I was staying. He continued ranting at me, and I noted that at the least he was himself again before allowing my suppressed emotion to surface. I shut the door behind me, leaning heavily against its rough wood, and covered my face with my hands. Gently brushing over my lips with my fingertips, I reminisced on the feel of Kota's lips on mine. It was a sensation I would never know again. As a sudden wetness ran over my thumb, I became aware of the tears streaming down my face, the grief overpowering me, and my body sinking to the floor. I drew my knees to my chest and rested my head upon them, knowing that after tonight everything would be the same as always, but harder than ever for me alone.

Only I would suffer from tonight's events. Only I would yearn for my great love and know with more certainty than ever that I can never have him. Always the martyr I am. Only for him. Only I will know the pain of it all. Of everything that has been forever…

Forgotten.

* * *

**REVIEW! ** It will make me a happy author. Flames, constructive criticism, and positive comments are all welcome. Thank you in advance. Now that you've been thanked, it would be rude not to review… XD

**Author's Note:** I don't like this chapter at all. The plot is almost what I intended, but the writing is cold and lacking emotion. I usually write when I'm feeling angsty, so I guess I wasn't upset enough while writing this? Sorry. Please review anyway. There is a slight chance I will do a follow-up chapter if it is requested. Otherwise, this is officially finished. Thanks for reading and many thanks to those who reviewed.

**Poll:** I put a poll on my profile asking about how other authors plan their fics because I think I need to try something different than usual. Please vote. Thanks.


End file.
